When it comes to raising kids, there’s no shortage of lessons to teach. From how to properly wipe after going potty, to how to ride a bike to multiplication and being kind. It’s a balance of teaching everyday life skills so they can simply function independently and teaching them how to emotionally navigate our changing world.
Each night, I pray for my daughters. I ask God to keep them safe, give us as much time together as possible and to give them a heart full of love and a desire to serve others.
For the most part, both of my girls are kind and show empathy, but each day offers new opportunities for me to show them and teach them how to do so.
This past weekend, we set up our little blowup pool in the front yard and invited the neighborhood friends over. Claire, who turns five in July, thrives in a group dynamic. She loves to make-up games for her friends and be the leader. All great skills when used properly. (She totally inherits this from me and my dad).
Life Lessons in Action
At one point, one friend came to me and said that she wanted to be the “maid,” but Claire and another friend said she had to be a bumblebee in the particular game they were playing. Typical kid stuff. But I told our little friend to tell Claire that she could be whatever she wanted to be and she went back to play.
Then I called Claire over. I told Claire that I enjoyed watching her play with her friends and that I know she gets excited about making up games, but to remember that her friends also have ideas and to take turns being the leader. I also said:
“We don’t get to tell people what or who they can and can’t be. People may want to be something different than you and that’s okay.”
The words flowed fairly naturally out of my mouth, but as I was saying them, I was struck at how relevant they were to us as adults. How often do we set limits on ourselves and others about who we have to be, where we have to live, who we are allowed to love or what brand of shoes we have to wear in order to be worthy of others approval?
I want my children to feel safe to express themselves and not fear ridicule or judgment. Now, I know we live in a harsh world and they will face those things. My hope is that they will have enough confidence in themselves to stand firm in their beliefs and choices. Beyond that, I want them to be able to support, accept and love others just as they are.
As Claire starts kindergarten this fall, I know there will be lunchroom conversations or things said on the playground like “why do you like this?” or “that’s stupid” and all sorts of things I’m sure I’ll be surprised to hear coming from five-year-olds. My own daughter may end up saying some of those hurtful things one day.
I’m determined to remind my children daily that we are all different. We don’t have to be the same. That by extending love, kindness, and acceptance of others, we can make the world around us a better place.