We have a NEW family member. Meet our dog, Boone.
He is an 11-ish month old pup from Red Barn Rescue in Clayton, N.C. Pretty sure he is a yellow-lab mix of some sort.
We welcomed Boone home three weeks ago. It’s been a wonderful three weeks settling in. It’s also been an emotional process.
Grieving Baxter & listening to my heart
We lost Baxter July 9, 2023. My heart was crushed. Pretty much turned to dust. I never thought I would ever love again.
We opened our home to fostering with Triangle Beagle Rescue. We had a one-night foster, a one-week foster, and a 2.5-month-long foster. I planned to foster for a few years before I could open my heart again.
Still, I kept looking at a few local rescues regularly online to see what pups were out there. While I would shove my phone in my husband’s face imploring him to melt over the cute pups I saw, I knew down in my heart, I wasn’t ready to adopt again.
Fostering a dog with a local rescue seemed to be the best way to help us heal, give back, and think about what kind of dog would be best for our family at this current stage of our lives.
I was approved to start fostering with Neuse River Golden Retriever Rescue. We even went out to a meet and greet to “just look.” They have wonderful family dogs. Yet, my heart still knew we wouldn’t be finding our next dog that day.
As we spoke with a volunteer, she told my daughter to “look for the magic” when meeting dogs and to that her heart would tell her when it was a match. Little did I know how much those words would hit me a few days later.
Finding the magic
One night, I went to petfinder.com to see about other rescues in our area. Boom. There he was.
Magic.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. The little floppy ears. The resemblance to Baxter. I wondered what kind of collar I would buy him. Which doggie daycare I would take him too. What cool stores and outings we could go to together.
Magic.
It still took me three days to fill out the official application. I was scared. What if I wasn’t fully ready even though everything in my heart was telling me Boone was meant to be our next dog?
I got a call the next day from Red Barn Rescue. There were really few questions I needed to ask. I knew Boone was the one. He loved children. He loved other dogs. He had a sweet demeanor and seemed the right size and age for our kids to grow up alongside him.
I knew he was the one, but “what if…”
I cried the two days after I spoke with the rescue and we were approved to meet and adopt him. I felt so much betrayal toward Baxter. I had anticipatory grief of loving and losing again. I knew he was “the (next) one,” but what about Baxter? Would he really approve? Had I really shown the world just how special he was and if I adopted again so soon, would that erase his specialness?
These thoughts swirled in my head as I went to Petco Monday morning to gather a few supplies just in case it was a match. The rescue asked us to bring a name tag with our phone numbers. Baxter’s was worn. I needed a new one. Tears flooded my face as I went to the engraving machine. I tried to take a nap that afternoon, exhausted from all of the emotions. But I was restless.
I tried to prepare the kids just in case. I told them “we have to make sure Boone like us too. We love him already, but we need to make sure he feels comfortable too.”
I had butterflies in my stomach the 30-minute drive to meet him.
We got out of the van and he pulled as best he could at the end of his leash, eager to meet us. Every “what if” I had was immediately erased.
Boone curled up on my lap on the car ride home on January 15th and it was as if he had been with us his entire life.
These past three weeks have been full of excitement, exploration of each other, and bonding that will be the foundation for our lives over the next decade and beyond.
One of my biggest fears was that loving Boone would keep me from fully grieving Baxter. Or that new memories would replace the old.
Having Boone has reawakened the vividness of memories of Baxter as a puppy. In a way, I’m able to relive Baxter’s youth through Boone. I catch little glimpses of Bax in the way Boone tucks his butt and runs when he gets the zoomies or the way he stretches out his legs for nap, and how he has chosen ME to be his person.
I’m celebrating our new addition with a special photography offer that is the best deal I’ve ever offered. Read all about it here so you can make sure you don’t miss out on the joyful newness of little fingers, puppy teeth or whatever new joy life has brought you.
